Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Tests & feeling wimpy
yesterday i finally got in to see a specialist - a gastroenterologist... that is altogether too long and scary of a word. and it was a long, 3 hours at his office. now i have TESTS to look forward to... (a slightly false, sarcastic "yay" goes here). one test is already in the mail (woohoo!) and now there's 3 more in a few days - all 3 of those involve fasting, as well driving on the lovely 405 freeway during early morning rush-hour. i don't know why that scenario makes me feel like a kitten sitting in a forest full of wolves, but it does. i am not a city girl, although i live in a big one - i am not an early morning girl, and fasting does more to me than leave me hungry - i get shaky, extremely weak and what little of my brain that's working goes straight out the window. i end up feeling vulnerable to a point of being overwhelmed...which is where i'm at now, and i still have 3 days before i even get there. i am, however, quite grateful that this new doctor is someone who really seems to know what he's doing. He is smart, gentle and i felt i could trust him. It was also nice seeing the plaque on his wall stating 'best gastro-longword in America, 2010'...! anyways, that's part of my journey for now... needing prayers for strength, dealing with 405 rush hour traffic, enduring all things associated with belly-tests, feeling like there's no one to talk to about all this.... looking for grace and flowers....
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